This is the cow!

There are no typos in this essay. Everything is legal and as it was written in the exam. If you develop cramps reading this or find your English gone haywire after reading this, please don't blame me :-)

CALCUTTA's Telegraph has got hold of an answer paper of a candidate at the recent UPSC examinations. The candidate has written an essay on the Indian cow:

The cow is a successful animal. Also he is quadrupud, and because he is female, he give milk, but will do so when he is got child. He is same like God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards.

His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally.

His motion is slow only because he is of asitudinious species. Also his other motion is much useful to trees, plants as well as making flat cakes in hand and drying in the sun. Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass.

His only attacking and defending organ is the horn, specially so when he is got child. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity forwards.

He has got tails also, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on his cohoa body whereupon he gives hit with it.

The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is not crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts his eyes like his relatives, the horse does not do so.

This is the cow.

P.S.: We are informed that the candidate passed the exam.

Kannathil Muthamittal

"Oru deivam thandha poove. Kannil theadal yenna thaaye" and "Vellai Pookkal ulagam yengum malarave. Vidiyum Bhoomi amadhikaaga vidhihave." AR Rahman comes first and then there is God. I am so blessed to be born in the same world as ARR, Vairamuthu and Chinmayi. Sometimes makes me wonder what these people are made of. What goes through their minds when they perform such wonderful songs. There seems to be so much unison as if all the maestros creating these masterpieces speak a common language. A language so totally different from any known language any living being can talk. A language which has more to sense and feel rather than to put in words. There is so much spiritual satisfaction to even listen to these songs. I only wish I could stand next to ARR when he feels this sense of spiritual satisfaction in him and share the feeling with him.
What do I say about Vairamuthu? To even say he is the best, is totally above my dignity. He proves again and again that what matters most is the thoughts and language is very much secondary. There is so much emotion in the song "Oru Deivam thandha poove". And where did the emotion build up from? Vairamuthu's lyrics.
Chinmayi. This was her debut song. To sing for a maestro like ARR itself is a benediction worth a lifetime. To do it with two maestros ARR and Vairamuthu, wow. Most people get swept off their feet with such a big opportunity, but she still stands with her feet very much on the ground. There is so much character to her voice. Singing comes so naturally to her. Only a person who can get emotionally involved with a song can sing it with that much perfection. If at all I get to meet any of these people, I just want to share the emotional satisfaction I get each time I listen to their creations. God bless all of them.